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FTM Self-help Tactics: Open Your Window

06/15/2018 // 9 Comments

  Is it dark in here, or is it just me? Your dank room is stuffy and it also smells like a rotten skunk. Pee-ew. Do you have an extra clothespin? I’m gonna have to pinch my nostrils shut. Thank you. A dark room demotivates our soul, and also casts an intrusive shadow on our motivation. Who wants to slay goals…if there hamper is full of depressed outfits, or there are dinner plates decorated with crusty substances? Is it pasta sauce? Nobody knows, and that’s a BIG problem. A productive environment motivates people to kick the crap out of their tasks, but a dark [Click Here To Read Article...]

Time Killer

11/23/2017 // 13 Comments

    Ticktock, ticktock, that’s the sound of my loudmouth clock. Digital numbers pushing, bullying, controlling, telling me to be on time, Relax and I’ll tell ya what inspired the crime.   Seconds, minutes, hours—none of it ever mattered to me, So I went on a time killing spree. Weeks, months, years…all gone—it just had to be.   Drive-by stomped an innocent wristwatch with my lethal shoe, that’s when a little bird told me I was cuckoo. Supposed to be in class. Nope. No way. Not gonna happen. Just sat their on my lazy ass and earned my [Click Here To Read Article...]

Shooting for the Moon: A Perspective on Prime Focus Astrophotography

09/01/2017 // 9 Comments

  You look a little funny…Oh! You’re infected with full Moon fever. Fire up your camera and get ready to photograph a celestial body. Does that sound sexy? Do craters turn you on? When you’re ready to stop blushing, please read this Moon photography guide, because protection is important, and no one likes an overexposed Moon. Trust me.   It’s Never Polite to Overexpose   Don’t get it twisted—the full Moon is pretty damn bright, and that’s all you need to know. A more sophisticated explanation involves comparing astronomical apparent [Click Here To Read Article...]

Mysterious Flower Murder Mystery

08/24/2017 // 8 Comments

  ** BREAKING NEWS ** A gruesome scene was discovered on February 16, 2015. A local ice cream truck driver notified local authorities of a possible homicide. When police arrived at 45 Love Dove Street—they found a flowery white carpet stained with blood. Investigators believe the body was dragged to a different location. No weapon was discovered.   Do you want to make an anonymous tip? Call us toll free at 1-800-Stop-Crime   A Glimpse into the Microcosm   Mundane things contain unseen secrets…if you look close enough. Flower petals were evolutionary designed to [Click Here To Read Article...]

Venus: Never Trust a Cloudy Planet

08/04/2017 // 11 Comments

Never trust a cloudy planet—cosmic secrecy haunts inquisitive minds. Sparks of ideas electrify nonsensical thoughts, as they rise from the dark depths of our evolutionary bewilderment. We are hardwired to fill in the gaps with silly putty. Spark that lighter, ignite the wick, and straddle that damn bottle rocket: we’re going to hell Venus.   Ugly Face Behind The Cloudy Veil   Most terrestrial planets have the common decency to show their face, however, Venus wears a cloudy veil which masks her ugly face. Just kidding. Or am I? You see… …Venus appears to be a hazy [Click Here To Read Article...]

Mars Is The Worst Planet In The Solar System

08/02/2017 // 22 Comments

  Mars sucks and everyone knows it. Pack your lunch and straddle your favorite bottle rocket—we’re gonna blastoff to the Red Planet! The solar system is full of cosmic losers…pieces of rock, metal, and ice that failed to become respectably spherical. Let’s explore five more red reasons why Mars sucks the celestial big one.   1. Mars Is Too Damn Dusty   Okay. First things first, let’s go ahead and state the obvious—Mars is full of dust. Do you feel like getting your oxford wingtips dirty? Exactly. Mars is not the type of place where you can wear a [Click Here To Read Article...]

Astrophotography: The Blue Hour

03/31/2017 // 10 Comments

Every educated photographer on planet Earth is familiar with the Golden Hour. Shhh…come a little closer…I’m gonna whisper a top secret in your ear…just kidding! I’m gonna tell you a secret but forgive me if I don’t whisper in your ear (you’ll have to pay me extra). The golden hour gets all the hype, but did you know there’s another hour? Yup, it’s true! This special time of evening is called the “blue hour”. Sounds pretty sweet, huh? There are a few cosmic events that can be seen during the the blue hour. Planets are usually [Click Here To Read Article...]

Astrophotography: How To Photograph Stars With Cheap Gear

03/03/2017 // 9 Comments

If you’re mentally fortified with specialized knowledge, then photographing stars can be as easy as celestial pie—even if you only have access to cheap lenses or cameras. Don’t sacrifice your piggy bank to the astronomical gods! Your porcelain swine shall live to oink another day. It should be obvious that you need a camera and lens to photograph stars, right? Exactly. The camera should ideally allow the photographer to manually adjust the exposure parameters. Nope. You’re not gonna aim a camera at the night sky, blastoff an exposure, and expect the automatic settings to [Click Here To Read Article...]

Astronomy Binoculars: How to Observe Stars Instead Of Your Neighbor

02/25/2017 // 9 Comments

Most binoculars spend most of their existence buried inside a closet, or perhaps inside a spacious drawer. A few naughty binoculars have only observed the nasty habits of someone’s unaware neighbor, and a lonesome binocular can do nothing but collect time snow (dust). Binoculars are intuitive and easy to use. A telescope needs eyepieces or a variety of other tools, but binoculars are the total package. You can just grab ’em and go. Simple as that.   Lightweight / portable Cheap or relatively inexpensive Easy to use   A typical binocular can easily be stored, and will [Click Here To Read Article...]

Celestial Hunting Season: How To Locate The Orion Nebula

01/31/2017 // 10 Comments

  You look like the type of smart individual who likes to read about space clouds. Did you know it’s possible to see the Orion Nebula with nothin’ but those squishy orbs inside your face? The universe looks like an angry toddler tossed a handful of sparkly glitter all over the place, which means it can be a pain in the ass to navigate the night sky. Don’t be intimated by the sparkly mess above your head. M42 (Orion Nebula) is one of the most popular space clouds. Period. Everyone knows about M42, right? Sure. Yup. Perhaps they know a little something about the Orion [Click Here To Read Article...]