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FTM Smack Talk: Welcome to the Future

07/07/2019 // 4 Comments

  Innovation is our rocket propulsion. We’re on a collision course with the future. Prepare for impact.     Welcome to the future—it’s not going to last. Are you paying attention? Present moment is now the past. We’re movin’ way too damn fast. Plugged in. Tuned in. Data has been packed— you’re now ready to be mentally hijacked.   Zip zap, can’t awaken from my electrical nap. Bleepity bloops, forgot to install antivirus software. Whoops. Can’t listen to logic or reason—my system must be on mute. Please hold the power button [Click Here To Read Article...]

FTM Smack Talk: Fake News

06/25/2019 // 3 Comments

  Ignore those pretty faces inside the noisy box—it’s just electronic snow and lies surfin’ along the airwaves. Unplug your computer. Turn up that boombox…it’s time to tune into the truth.     You want the truth? Tune into this lyrical master, or turn on your plasma television—swoon over that sexy newscaster. Charmed. Alarmed. Disarmed. Words coming out of their painted face, lying to the entire human race.   What happened? Did you believe their political ruse? Tuned in and listened to some bullshit fake news.   Runnin’ for [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: Remastered Edition

12/25/2018 // 14 Comments

  Everyone knows you made the naughty list—a lump of coal ripped a hole in your stocking. You may have enough sedimentary rocks to keep warm during the winter, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be jolly, cheerful or merry. Santa’s elves screwed you over, however, there’s still one more present underneath the tree and it has your name on it. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.     No Money Astronomy: Remastered Edition   Updated information New graphics and photographs All chapters included in a single page     Check this out—the Remastered [Click Here To Read Article...]

Mission to Mars: NASA Lacks InSight

11/29/2018 // 27 Comments

  Have you ever wondered if the Red Planet shakes, rattles and rolls? No? Too bad! NASA filled their bottle rocket and flung a sophisticated ornament at Mars, just in time for the holiday season. InSight blazed a path of hell across space-time, and on November 26, 2018, landed near Elysium Planitia—a flat and lackluster region on Mars…which greatly encapsulates how exciting this mission is going to be.     Elysium Planitia is pretty much a Martian parking lot. The predictable territory makes it difficult for something to go very wrong, and that’s why the region [Click Here To Read Article...]

Cold Words: Tortured

09/11/2018 // 18 Comments

    I make bad choices. I never think more than once. Consequences never matter, until my regret regurgitates and splatters. I’m a tortured individual. Numb. Desperate. Cold, that’s what my reflection told. I have no one else to believe, but myself. I’m a tortured individual. No one else to blame, but myself. Someone like me needs no enemies, because I have myself.   [Click Here To Read Article...]

Slasher Theory: More Monstrous Than Monsters

08/29/2018 // 13 Comments

  What is a monster? You know it when you see it, right? Fangs…claws…wings—horrific entities that extract fear out of helpless humans. Anyone can see the demon behind the horns, but what about the demon behind the smile? They say people are the scariest of all monsters. Unassuming citizens can slip past our defenses and stab us in the back. We’d never see it coming. A monster may have a mouth full of teeth, but a slasher understands our vulnerabilities. The slasher’s dark attributes define what it means to be a true monster. Monsters are limited by sharp teeth [Click Here To Read Article...]

Nocturnal Nightmares: Chapter 2

08/26/2018 // 15 Comments

  You retreated into the woods, and your friend is probably dead. The squishy stuff on your shoes could be blood, mud or both. The woods never tell their secrets. Alone. Lost. Hopeless. Find a way to survive until morning, or nocturnal nightmares shall forever keep you awake at night.     Sometimes making a decision is the hardest choice. Fear wraps its cold hands around your shivering bones—strike your courage as if it were your last piece of flint, and ignite the ember that sets your will to live on fire. When it’s dark outside, the only light comes from within. [Click Here To Read Article...]

Fearology: Paradox of Mortality

08/20/2018 // 13 Comments

    Fear is a biological mechanism which can either kill or save you. All of us are scared of something, however, some people are either paralyzed by fear or motivated to wrestle the hungry polar bear. If a Mack Truck is blazing a path of hell down the street, and you so happen to be standing in the way—there are only 3 choices: fight, flight or become roadkill.         Fear preserves life or causes it to prematurely deteriorate into perpetual death. Everyone felt the cold hands of fear wrap around their soul. A hideous phobia has the potential to put [Click Here To Read Article...]

Fearology: The Frailty of Flesh

08/16/2018 // 13 Comments

    We’re just like flowers—painful circumstance is the foot which crushes our petals. People often forget how vulnerable they are. Many of us hop inside the cockpit of our car and fly down the street…forgetting that metal and humans don’t mix very well. A dull knife can pop our soft body like a balloon, but that doesn’t stop anyone from slicing and dicing a tasty apple. A common fever can evict our soul from our biological house. It’s odd that anyone reaches adulthood because it seems as if everything has the ability to punch our life ticket. If you [Click Here To Read Article...]

Deadliest Bloodsucker: Tick vs Vampire

08/05/2018 // 41 Comments

    The world is full of bloodsuckers. Some are large, and some have eight legs. The vampire is a creature of the dark: Widow’s peak, sharp fangs and velvet cape—the gentle pressure of sunlight cause these pale-skinned bloodsippers to explode into flames. Ticks are 20-million-year-old arachnids, and they were evolutionarily designed to chug the red stuff inside your veins. But… …which one is the deadliest bloodsucker?   Battle of the Bloodsuckers There are many depictions and adaptations of vampires. We don’t have time to piss and moan about the [Click Here To Read Article...]