funny

FTM Smack Talk: Five-leaf Clover

06/18/2019 // 7 Comments

  Don’t be ashamed of you who are. If you got it, flaunt it. Turn up your boombox—turn down your naysayers, betrayers, and haters. Are you ready? I’ll see you on the streets.     More rare than rare, ’cause I live without a single care. Here’s what my best friend Sam taught me: I am who I am, just like it’s said in Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham.   Never pledgin’, that’s why I’m a livin’ legend. Say what it is, I’m the top clover boss— everyone else is just plain ol’ common moss.   Get up, get [Click Here To Read Article...]

FTM Smack Talk: Strange Weirdo

06/14/2019 // 3 Comments

  All right. Listen up. This one is dedicated to the nerds, geeks, and strange weirdos. You know who you are. Ready. Set. Go.   People think these thick ass lenses are flyin’ saucers. If I’m walkin’ funny, take a look at my high waters. They look and say, “Oh”. That’s what happens when I’m mistaken for an alien or UFO.   Ignore snarky sneers from pesky peers. Remarks 100% inconsiderate. Open your metal mouth and prove they ain’t nothin’ but stupid and illiterate.   Their style is tasteless. May as well be a [Click Here To Read Article...]

Roman Romance Dating Advice: Flowers, Biters & Whips

02/14/2018 // 8 Comments

  Do you smell that? The flowery perfume of insincere affection intoxicates lonely souls—it’s Valentine’s Day. Open the box of heart-shaped chocolates and satisfy your insatiable craving. Everyone has needs. Sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference between a mosquito bite and the sting of Cupid’s arrow. Love is itchy. Roman Romance will tell you if the itch is worth the scratch.   Question #1 Marcus Madeup Thanks for having me on the show, Roman. I stole a red flower from my neighbor’s garden and then gave it to my lifelong crush. The flower [Click Here To Read Article...]

Cat Attack!

11/03/2017 // 14 Comments

  Go ahead and stare at me the wrong way. Your face looking all whack. Say what you gotta say, Prepare for my cat attack!   Bundle up—scale the altitude of my attitude. Or swim inside your sea level anger. Big mouth provokes my crude mood, Do nothin’ but harass, I’ll hiss and scratch your fuckin’ ass.   What’s wrong? You look a little red…survived a close encounter with my five-clawed reaper. Dizzy, dumb and done— Lay down…your momma called…she’s here to cure that burnin’ fever.   Regret makes you feel like [Click Here To Read Article...]