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FTM Moving Pictures: Halloween Special

10/31/2018 // 17 Comments

Ghosts, ghouls, and goblins are hunting for artificial flavors and caramel. Bowls of bite-sized chocolate confectionaries keep the undead kids happy, that way they won’t decorate the neighborhood with spoiled eggs or garlands of 2-ply toilet paper. Put on your red devil horns or toss a bedsheet over your head—the spirit of Halloween is gonna possess you. Boo. If you don’t mind sacrificing 49 seconds of your precious life, press the play button and watch the latest Mr. Bonez episode. The stop-motion animation features a few cinematic slashers (one of them just so happens [Click Here To Read Article...]

Monster Theory: Animal Nightmare

09/13/2018 // 5 Comments

Horror slices and dices a helpless victim’s meek sensibilities, or sinks its pointy claws into your supple psyche. Horror is a shapeshifter, and each form expresses dark aspects which are unique to the vision or style. Sometimes the fright is jackhammered into your soft brain, while other times it crawls through the jungle of life, like a panther stalking a mammal who strayed too close to the watering hole. Monsters inhabit the land of horror, but where the hell do they come from? Let’s face the gruesome facts: monsters make people soil their slacks. People have been [Click Here To Read Article...]

Slasher Theory: More Monstrous Than Monsters

08/29/2018 // 13 Comments

What is a monster? You know it when you see it, right? Fangs…claws…wings—horrific entities that extract fear out of helpless humans. Anyone can see the demon behind the horns, but what about the demon behind the smile? They say people are the scariest of all monsters. Unassuming citizens can slip past our defenses and stab us in the back. We’d never see it coming. A monster may have a mouth full of teeth, but a slasher understands our vulnerabilities. The slasher’s dark attributes define what it means to be a true monster. Monsters are limited by sharp teeth [Click Here To Read Article...]

Fearology: Paradox of Mortality

08/20/2018 // 13 Comments

Fear is a biological mechanism which can either kill or save you. All of us are scared of something, however, some people are either paralyzed by fear or motivated to wrestle the hungry polar bear. If a Mack Truck is blazing a path of hell down the street, and you so happen to be standing in the way—there are only 3 choices: fight, flight or become roadkill. Fear preserves life or causes it to prematurely deteriorate into perpetual death. Everyone felt the cold hands of fear wrap around their soul. A hideous phobia has the potential to put [Click Here To Read Article...]

Fearology: The Frailty of Flesh

08/16/2018 // 13 Comments

We’re just like flowers—painful circumstance is the foot which crushes our petals. People often forget how vulnerable they are. Many of us hop inside the cockpit of our car and fly down the street…forgetting that metal and humans don’t mix very well. A dull knife can pop our soft body like a balloon, but that doesn’t stop anyone from slicing and dicing a tasty apple. A common fever can evict our soul from our biological house. It’s odd that anyone reaches adulthood because it seems as if everything has the ability to punch our life ticket. If you [Click Here To Read Article...]

Fearology: Scared to be Alive

07/26/2018 // 16 Comments

When the Sun goes to sleep—imaginary monsters wake up. Secretive abominations hide underneath our beds, while Boogeymen stalk the unseen corners of our closet. Nocturnal furry things live in the woods, and their territory is just beyond your cozy bed. A wall separates you from the wild unknown and that’s why you shit the bed (don’t tell mom). No nightmare is complete without a watery abyss. Do you remember the first time you went fishing? The tasty worm danced on a rusted hook, and then the sacrificial bait sank below a realm of docile waves. Something ate the worm. Your [Click Here To Read Article...]

Elon Musk Launched a Sports Car Into Space

02/12/2018 // 17 Comments

Are you ready to break the speed limit? Put on your seatbelt and let’s go to Mars. SpaceX recently tested their new Falcon Heavy rocket, however, launching a new rocket wasn’t enough. Elon Musk topped the technological sundae with an expensive cherry—a red Tesla 2008 Roadster. Because that’s what smart people do. Falcon Heavy is currently the most impressive bottle rocket. Adorned with 3 magical cores and 27 Merlin engines—Falcon Heavy can lift a little more than 13 African bush elephants, which totals less than 175,000 pounds (79,378 kg). A single African [Click Here To Read Article...]

Secret Photography: Filters and Prime Focus

09/05/2014 // 0 Comments

Wait, wait! Sit down! The magic show is not over! I still have some tricks up my sleeve, so sit back, relax—and prepare to be flabbergasted. My last trick involved an unthinkable way of using a Barlow lens for prime focus photography. You’d think there’s nothing more that could be done, well, if you happen to think this, guess what? You’re wrong! I know of another prime focus trick that is not expressed in any book. Here’s what you’ll need: Camera Telescope T-Ring 13% Moon Transmission Filter A Set of Colored Filters Do you remember how to Barlow Boost? [Click Here To Read Article...]

Where Are All the Laser Guns and Flying Cars?

08/26/2014 // 4 Comments

The future sucks. I’m 30 years old and don’t own a hoverboard, laser gun, flying car, teleportation device—or any of that cool shit. Everyone should own a laser gun by now. What the hell? I own a few swords, but give me a break! Those were invented…many years ago. I’m not talking about a fancy lightsaber, either! I’m talking about old fashioned steel. Something ain’t right. Usually by the year 2100 A.D. (according to science-fiction) humanity has amassed enough cleverness to at least architect space colonies. So…we have 85 measly years to [Click Here To Read Article...]

Shooting for the Stars: Canon EF 18-55 Zoom Lens (Part 2)

08/21/2014 // 6 Comments

I mentioned that I was going to write about this particular lens again, but never committed myself. Until now. Prepare thyself! Grab your Canon EF 18-55 zoom lens—I’ll meet you outside. I don’t want to simply repeat myself, so I’ll try to keep this article as fresh as possible. I’ll go over a few basics, such as: Focusing Angle of view / speed Exposure lengths Other than that, I’m going to explore the creative aspects of this lens. Feel free to read my first post on this particular lens—here. First things first: Let’s take a gander at the tale of [Click Here To Read Article...]