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Talkin’ Smack: Handbasket

09/06/2019 // 4 Comments

  Is it getting hot in here, or is just me? Someone needs to crack open a window. Throw these words through the glass. Let in some fresh air.     Pump the sky full of car exhaust. We can risk it, all we have to do is tax it, enjoy the ride— We’re going to hell in a handbasket.   Weatherman was just exaggerating, while icebergs are still melting. You’d have a different opinion, perhaps even care, If you were drowning like a polar bear.   Turn on the television. Numbers were just an illusion. None of it will ever matta, Emails proved researchers falsified [Click Here To Read Article...]

Poetry Absurdity: Bad Words/Potty Mouth

04/22/2019 // 2 Comments

  Foul vowels misbehavin’, nothing but attention cravin’. Go on. Put ’em in timeout. Punish. Shout. Open the box. Given ’em a broken crayon, prove the plan is nothing but a colorful sham. If outta their brain flows verbal crap, Make ’em sit in the dark corner…wear a fuckin’ dunce cap. Don’t ya know swearing lowers your intelligence, it’s nothing but shallow self-expression. No elegance.   [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: Remastered Edition

12/25/2018 // 14 Comments

  Everyone knows you made the naughty list—a lump of coal ripped a hole in your stocking. You may have enough sedimentary rocks to keep warm during the winter, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be jolly, cheerful or merry. Santa’s elves screwed you over, however, there’s still one more present underneath the tree and it has your name on it. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.     No Money Astronomy: Remastered Edition   Updated information New graphics and photographs All chapters included in a single page     Check this out—the Remastered [Click Here To Read Article...]

FTM Moving Pictures: Gingerbread House

12/13/2018 // 14 Comments

    Let’s face it…you’re getting coal in your stocking. You made the wrong side of the list, but that doesn’t mean your holiday season has melted. Santa’s exploited elves carved plenty of useless toys, however, you’re not gonna get that wooden train you wanted as a kid. Don’t look at me like that! Blame Saint Nicholas or your big bad self. Happy holidays. No worries—even bad rugrats should get a little something something for Christmas, right? Of course! Let’s keep this early secret between you and I. Please don’t tell the fat, [Click Here To Read Article...]

Monster Theory: Animal Nightmare

09/13/2018 // 5 Comments

  Horror slices and dices a helpless victim’s meek sensibilities, or sinks its pointy claws into your supple psyche. Horror is a shapeshifter, and each form expresses dark aspects which are unique to the vision or style. Sometimes the fright is jackhammered into your soft brain, while other times it crawls through the jungle of life, like a panther stalking a mammal who strayed too close to the watering hole. Monsters inhabit the land of horror, but where the hell do they come from? Let’s face the gruesome facts: monsters make people soil their slacks. People have been [Click Here To Read Article...]

Slasher Theory: More Monstrous Than Monsters

08/29/2018 // 13 Comments

  What is a monster? You know it when you see it, right? Fangs…claws…wings—horrific entities that extract fear out of helpless humans. Anyone can see the demon behind the horns, but what about the demon behind the smile? They say people are the scariest of all monsters. Unassuming citizens can slip past our defenses and stab us in the back. We’d never see it coming. A monster may have a mouth full of teeth, but a slasher understands our vulnerabilities. The slasher’s dark attributes define what it means to be a true monster. Monsters are limited by sharp teeth [Click Here To Read Article...]

Nocturnal Nightmares: Chapter 1

08/23/2018 // 26 Comments

  Fate is in your hands—wrap a leash around the neck of destiny—because you’re making the decisions around here. “You Choose the Adventure” puts you in control. Yes. You. Get behind the imaginary wheel and navigate these dynamic stories. Each chapter gives the reader three mind-busting choices: cast a vote and impart your influence upon the horror adventure. Every vote is a stone that sends ripples across the entire pond, and with enough votes, perhaps the ripple will grow into a tsunami which forever changes the landscape of the story.       Read the [Click Here To Read Article...]

Fearology: Scared to be Alive

07/26/2018 // 16 Comments

  When the Sun goes to sleep—imaginary monsters wake up. Secretive abominations hide underneath our beds, while Boogeymen stalk the unseen corners of our closet. Nocturnal furry things live in the woods, and their territory is just beyond your cozy bed. A wall separates you from the wild unknown and that’s why you shit the bed (don’t tell mom). No nightmare is complete without a watery abyss. Do you remember the first time you went fishing? The tasty worm danced on a rusted hook, and then the sacrificial bait sank below a realm of docile waves. Something ate the worm. Your [Click Here To Read Article...]

FTM Short Story: Clown with a Frown

07/22/2018 // 15 Comments

    I never understood why people are afraid of clowns. Are they scared of pretty colors or perhaps oversized shoes? If everyone knew what’s behind my makeup, they would never go to the circus. I’m a zombie clown. Please don’t kill me. My static, joyful expression is just face paint. The red smile hides my frown, and trust me, you don’t want to see my frown. Do you want to know what happened to the last person who saw my frown? Come closer. I’ll tell ya. I promise I won’t bite you. Stan was an animal trainer, and he owned three hungry lions: [Click Here To Read Article...]