No Money Astronomy

No Money Astronomy: Let’s Sneak Into The Amusement Park

01/17/2017 // 9 Comments

The universe is a giant amusement park, and you’re not welcome to climb aboard the pretty galactic Ferris wheel. Why? Because you must be THIS tall! Or so it seems. Many people sacrificed their piggy banks to the amateur astronomy gods, but all they got in return was some lousy glass. True story. Telescopes, eye pieces, mounts, filters—these toys can be…ummm…expensive. And that means the admittance price must be literally sky high if you want to enjoy the amusement park above your head. Come on! If you think that’s true, then you haven’t been paying attention! [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: Cheapskate Edition

06/20/2016 // 13 Comments

Pssst…come here…make sure no one sees you. Take a look at this…hey! Don’t worry! It’s not what you think. Most people think amateur astronomy is expensive, or that the cosmic carnival is limited to those that pay the hefty admission price. A decent telescope costs north of $125, and some of us don’t have access to these astronomical optical devices. What shall we do when there’s nothin’ but air inside of our wallet? Or if we’re luggin’ around a monetary hollow purse? Does that mean the cosmic carnival is off limits? [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: Wonder

09/25/2015 // 6 Comments

Soooo…what have you been doing with your massive monetary savings?…ummm…you don’t mind loaning me a few shekels, right?…What? Oh! I see! I get it…you didn’t think anyone would notice those new Oakleys wrapped around your face? Come on…just a few shekels!…I’ll pay you back!…I promise! Amateur astronomy is known to bankrupt mere mortals. We haven’t sacrificed our piggy bank and we somehow gained admission into the greatest show of our lives: the night sky. Planets, stars, ghastly wisps of gas, the moon, celestial [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: Celestial Navigation

08/17/2015 // 11 Comments

Celestial navigation can be a pain in the ass, especially if you have no money. The sky is unthinkably obese, which means our eyes have plenty of starry real-estate to explore. So much territory, in fact, our eyes don’t know where to look first! They swivel inside their comfy orbital sockets while our irises expand and swallow a barrage of celestial photons. The night sky is a jumbled mess of nonsense! Whoever says the universe is “balanced” is full of shit! What universe do they live in? Because it surely ain’t the one I been lookin’ at the past 23 years. [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: Specters In The Night

07/21/2015 // 5 Comments

The night sky is haunted. There are ghastly starry specters—soft splatters of ethereal light—glowing among the eternal dark. They’ll make your eyes squint. They’ll make you question reality…am I seeing things? Is there anything really there? Why am I talking to myself? It’s true! The night sky is filled with allllll sorts of things and all we need is biological optics (eyes). Nebula Galaxies (Andromeda) Star Clusters Comets Satellites These celestial spooks are dim, but perceptible—if you know where to look. We explored the stars, constellations, [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: The Planets

07/17/2015 // 15 Comments

Look! Your piggy bank is gorging itself on coins! You’ll soon have enough pennies to buy yourself a delicious chocolate chip muffin! Yesssssss!!!!! We’re still hitchhiking along the cosmic highway and haven’t cracked open our wallet or purse. We learned how to locate stars, identify constellations, and observe the moon—all for free! Did you know it’s possible to see planets? I’m talkin’ nothin’, but usin’ those squishy optics inside of your face. No telescopes. No binoculars. Only squishy optics (eyes). Mercury Venus Mars Jupiter Saturn [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: The Moon

07/15/2015 // 14 Comments

Hey! Is that a bulging wallet in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? I don’t mean to embarrass you! I’m sure it’s both. The last time we met— I proved that the constellations don’t have a cosmic price-tag: time, dedication, and consistency is all that’s needed—to learn about celestial characters of ancient lore. No bankrupting equipment required! There’s a world floating in the sky—a gray place full of apocalyptic craters—glowing among the fireflies of the night. Perhaps you have seen it? I’m talking about a catastrophic world, which [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: Constellations

07/13/2015 // 5 Comments

So, what did you buy with all the money you saved? During our previous observing session together—we learned that the night sky doesn’t charge an admission—as long as you know where to look. There are bizarre stars just waiting to be seen and many of them don’t require fancy glass! Just those squishy optics inside of your face. When you look up into the night sky, what do you see? No, no, I’m not talking about stars…well…kind of…sort of. What I mean to say is: I’m not talking about specific stars. There. That’s better. Humanity has been [Click Here To Read Article...]

No Money Astronomy: Stars

07/10/2015 // 11 Comments

So, I was at the grocery store the other day, admiring the baguettes, when I heard footsteps directly behind me. The pressure of staring eyes caused me to lift my snout into the air, that’s when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Three times. “You know, I want to get into amateur astronomy, but I don’t have the cash! The gear is way too expensive!” A voice said. I turned around and placed a hand upon the disheveled individual’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, my friend! Let me ask you a question: are you blind?” The disheveled individual scratched his [Click Here To Read Article...]