Best of the Best

Poetry Absurdity: Blue Crocodile

06/19/2018 // 8 Comments

  Sharp teeth. Cold blood. Scales and claws. If you see bubbles on the water, try not to scream! I’m just prowlin’ through the dirty mud.   I love to lounge in the rays of the Sun. It’s just me, though. No one is ever around. The birds or tasty mammals, they look at me…turn and run.   Don’t ignore my sharp eyes. Don’t be in denial. There’s a cool reptile lookin’ through you. I’m not in the mood too eat! Please just listen to my song— the endangered cry of a blue crocodile.   Leather jacket and shades. Mouth full of [Click Here To Read Article...]

Shooting for the Moon: A Perspective on Prime Focus Astrophotography

09/01/2017 // 9 Comments

  You look a little funny…Oh! You’re infected with full Moon fever. Fire up your camera and get ready to photograph a celestial body. Does that sound sexy? Do craters turn you on? When you’re ready to stop blushing, please read this Moon photography guide, because protection is important, and no one likes an overexposed Moon. Trust me.   It’s Never Polite to Overexpose   Don’t get it twisted—the full Moon is pretty damn bright, and that’s all you need to know. A more sophisticated explanation involves comparing astronomical apparent [Click Here To Read Article...]

Cosmic Headbangers

08/10/2017 // 10 Comments

  Planet Earth was jabbed in the eye 65 million years ago—an asteroid dropped from the cosmic vault and KO’d the dinosaurs. The scar can still be seen today, just off the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula. Earth was involved in another brawl much earlier in it’s boxing career. Thea, a young proto-planet, delivered a glancing blow across the jaw. Theia wasn’t a lightweight asteroid, either! The heavy hitter was about the size of Mars, and if Theia landed a solid uppercut, Earth’s face would have exploded into 14 bazillion pieces. But… …that didn’t [Click Here To Read Article...]

Grow Your Own Dinosaur

08/05/2017 // 8 Comments

  Earth used to be ruled by gigantic things with pointy teeth. The landscape trembled, quaked, and shivered—terrible lizards chomped with their serrated maws, and the vanquished ended up inside the belly of the victorious. A BIG rock dropped from the eternal black void about 65 million years ago. The apocalyptic force razed the planet’s surface and warped the environment into a living hell. Dinosaurs exploded like firecrackers. Everything else disintegrated. However… …scientists recently discovered a special volcano, and when they poured water into its protective [Click Here To Read Article...]

Astronomy Binoculars: How to Observe Stars Instead Of Your Neighbor

02/25/2017 // 9 Comments

Most binoculars spend most of their existence buried inside a closet, or perhaps inside a spacious drawer. A few naughty binoculars have only observed the nasty habits of someone’s unaware neighbor, and a lonesome binocular can do nothing but collect time snow (dust). Binoculars are intuitive and easy to use. A telescope needs eyepieces or a variety of other tools, but binoculars are the total package. You can just grab ’em and go. Simple as that.   Lightweight / portable Cheap or relatively inexpensive Easy to use   A typical binocular can easily be stored, and will [Click Here To Read Article...]

Claim Your Spot Among The Stars

02/21/2017 // 3 Comments

If you think it’s expensive to claim your spot among the stars, then you’re absolutely correct! Astronomical characters of ancient lore accomplished heroic feats to earn their eternal right to lounge upon the night sky. True story: Hercules wrestled a mythical man-eating lion and won. We can all agree putting a mythical man-eating lion in a headlock deserves stellar praise! But it’s risky business. You may or may not want to put a mythical man-eating lion in a headlock, but since you’re not bestowed with the strength of 10 men, then let’s assume the mythical [Click Here To Read Article...]

Celestial Hunting Season: How To Locate The Orion Nebula

01/31/2017 // 10 Comments

  You look like the type of smart individual who likes to read about space clouds. Did you know it’s possible to see the Orion Nebula with nothin’ but those squishy orbs inside your face? The universe looks like an angry toddler tossed a handful of sparkly glitter all over the place, which means it can be a pain in the ass to navigate the night sky. Don’t be intimated by the sparkly mess above your head. M42 (Orion Nebula) is one of the most popular space clouds. Period. Everyone knows about M42, right? Sure. Yup. Perhaps they know a little something about the Orion [Click Here To Read Article...]

Tiny Things You’ll Never Notice In Your Lifetime

01/27/2017 // 17 Comments

Size is matter of perspective. Small objects may seem large if observed through a different pair of eyes. How long would it take you to stroll across a field? Forget the fact that you possibility “ran” a 25 minute mile in gym class, or the fact that the teacher would have needed a sundial to truly time your efforts. Forget all that. Now imagine a hypothetical flea. This hypothetical flea is perched on a blade of grass. How long do you think it would take your imaginary hypothetical flea to journey across the entire field? Think real hard, then imagine the hardships this [Click Here To Read Article...]

Are You In A Piss-Poor Mood?

01/12/2017 // 10 Comments

This is how the scientific community defines a ‘piss-poor mood’: an individual infected with a nonsensical, or emotionally volatile attachment to unjustified anger or hate. Hey! Wanna see if you’re in a piss-poor mood? Step right up, and take this simple test. Don’t be shy. No judgments. Your stomach tingles every morning, and not in a good way. Was it the elderly lady in front of you at the local food mart? Her coupons expired, right?  You could have stomped on a baby seal and not given two measly shits. Sound familiar? Congratulations! You’re in a piss-poor [Click Here To Read Article...]