Holiday 2018: Gingerbread House



Let’s face it…you’re getting coal in your stocking. You made the wrong side of the list, but that doesn’t mean your holiday season has melted. Santa’s exploited elves carved plenty of useless toys, however, you’re not gonna get that wooden train you wanted as a kid. Don’t look at me like that! Blame Saint Nicholas or your big bad self. Happy holidays.

No worries—even bad rugrats should get a little something something for Christmas, right? Of course! Let’s keep this early secret between you and I. Please don’t tell the fat, jolly bastard. You know who I’m talkin’ about.

Do you like gingerbread? No? Too bad. Let’s shrink down real low and take a closer look at a magical gingerbread village, and also observe how the houses were constructed.


A very skilled worker.


Someone had to do the dirty work, and apparently, it was a handful of very tiny construction workers. Never judge a worker by their size—I was up to my ass in white frosting. Think about it. I can pop the delicious top off a hot Oreo cookie, that’s all the confectionary skills I have. I’m not ashamed to admit it, either.



The gingerbread cottages had multiple code violations and didn’t provide safe living conditions, but none of that mattered. Apparently. Hansel and Gretel should have been more worried about the shotty roof construction than the evil witch. Dried sugar kept the walls from crumbling down and that was a true Christmas miracle, my festive friend.

A video montage is the type of gift that keeps on giving…as long as you keep pressing the play button. So keep pressing it.



Artificial colors never looked so damn good.


All the credit goes to the little dudes. I just sat back and let the professionals do their job. Yup. True story. See? The holiday season can be full of magic…if you’re willing to get a closer look.



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Author: FlyTrapMan

I have no idea what I'm doing.

14 thoughts

  1. I’d build a gingerbread house every week if cute construction guys did all the work! Lol. Ya, they’re super tiny, but I can carry them around in my glove compartment. Send them over to me, bro. 😋 I’ll find them stuff to do!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s one perk! Until we eat it all. No food and homeless. 😬 At least we’d be in the mess together. 😆


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