Profound Pondering: Does Size Matter?'s an ancient brain busting question: does size matter?

It seems like such an easy question to answer!...until you actually think about it, right?

Size matters.


Some really rad guys will often say: “You better be large and in charge!”


Or…if they’re really cool…they’ll say something like this: “Why be small when you can be big?”




We heard it all before, right? But how often does someone brag about being small? I’ll wait. What’s the matter? Can’t think of a single nanosecond when a pipsqueak bragged about his 2 inch pythons? Yeah…neither can I.


Hey! You know what the titans say…


  • Bigger Is Better


Ummm…a bigger what? Truck? Wheelbarrow? Bag of potato chips? The only big thing I see is the statement’s ambiguity. Bigger is NOT always better.

1. Difficulty Playing Hide And Go Seek

Yup. It’s true.


Mutant meatheads and plump hominids take up varying degrees of space and that can make it difficult to stuff themselves inside of a kitchen cabinet. I mean…if I were to snap my fingers and count to 10…how fast would you be able to hide? A pipsqueak could squeeze themselves inside a mouse doorway. Good luck trying to find them.


You won’t.


An individual bestowed with the gift of girth would probably still be standing in the same exact spot when the game initiated. I could see it now…shoulders shrugging…lips pouting: “What? 10 seconds wasn’t enough time!”


Yeah right—ten seconds is enough time for everybody. No excuses.


Smaller is clearly not always better, either. I mean…what would happen if a pipsqueak got into a shoving match with a sumo wrestler? The pipsqueak would explode like a cherry bomb.


I have a great idea! Let’s go to the amusement park!

2. Amusement Park Blues

Have you ever walked past the cool kids while in high school and witnessed nasty sneers or heard incoherent whispers? You did? They were probably having fun at your expense. The amusement park is kind of like that.


You can’t just strap yourself into any roller coaster and expect the butterflies to flutter in your gut! Just like you can’t stroll up to any table at your local high school cafeteria and expect a warm welcome! No, no, no—did you read the sign?


Balloon Swing Ride Admittance

YOU MUST BE THIS BIG: 4ft5 and under


Oops! See what I mean? Whoever said size doesn’t matter never been to an amusement park. Oh! It looks like you’ll have better success over there:


Turtle Teacup Tilt-a-Whirl Ride Admittance

YOU MUST BE THIS BIG: 5ft5 and up


Not to worry! There’s a ride for everybody. Not every seat is made for every ass, but if it fits, well…it fits. Large or small. Wide or narrow. Is it a coincidence that a square peg fits inside a square hole? Hmmm…we all have our preferences—and that’s why size (and shape) will always matter.


I’ll see you at the amusement park.


About FlyTrapMan (264 Articles)
I have no idea what I'm doing.

19 Comments on Profound Pondering: Does Size Matter?

  1. Deep musings going on here, and not a smirky pun…applause……there must be a satisfactory answer to this age-old question, shall pay more attention to Trump..maybe he has the answer. My own personal feeling is: Size does matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deep musings are the best kind of musings!

      I went ahead and deleted the other comments — I think WordPress lagged your submitted comments and made it seem like they didn’t post.


  2. Okay, okay, I know that this was all in fun, and it is fun, but underneath it, there’s some serious shit going on, you know?
    “But how often does someone brag about being small? I’ll wait.”
    You don’t have to wait long because women brag all the time about being smaller, i.e., losing weight and becoming smaller, wearing a smaller dress size, a smaller pant size, etc. In our culture, men want to become bigger and women believe they are supposed to be smaller (except their chest size, which is supposed to be bigger even as the rest of them grows smaller).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey! I wouldn’t be able to ride the Turtle Teacup, and that’s my favorite ride next to the Tarantula Sticky-Whirly-Web!!


  4. This is the last time I will try to make right. I am anonymous.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. On the first read, my instinct was to laugh in the adolescent way in to which I am accustomed. Then I got to thinking about a man I know who is what you may call a “little person.” He barely stands higher than my rib cage. But he goes to work every day, works in all weathers, never complains about his height, and always has a smile for everyone, even those who tease him. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. So this was really a profound pondering. Thanks for making me think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Profound pondering makes us all…ummm…ponder! Yeah! That’s the word.

      I don’t think I personally known someone as small as you described…well…I guess that depends on how tall you are! My ribs could be lower than your ribs.

      I agree — inner determination can’t be measured by someone’s outside appearance.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Got me a dirty mind!

    Liked by 2 people

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