Random Rant: Duel!


We need to bring back the duel.

Yeah! Sit back and fantasize…imagine if you could smack a rude individual across the face and spit the following words in their ears: “I challenge thee to a duel! Thou shall agree upon thy request, or eternally be branded a coward and forfeit all honor.”

...Imagine a world with duels…

…Bad attitudes….


People would think twice before cutting in line at the grocery store—why? Because cutters would get cut!…if you know what I mean. People would think twice before plucking verbal arrows—why? Because…ummm…they would get cut! See where I’m going with this? I hope so.

People would think different before being a fucking asshole! That’s what I’m trying to say.

What? No! Are you kidding me? You don’t say! That’s a shame…someone made fun of you? Go tell that future dead court jester to en-garde! Problem solved.


End of the line! You…you…line cutter!

** To Be Clear** I’m specifically requesting that we resurrect sword duels. I mean…we have to keep things civil, right? Let’s leave the gunpowder at home.

I don’t know…it’s just a simple request. Think about it.



About FlyTrapMan (264 Articles)
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24 Comments on Random Rant: Duel!

  1. Sounds like a plan. I would add that if a person gets challenged to a duel ten or more times a month, they would be subject to a hefty “being an asshole” fine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree! The fine should involve being challenged to another duel! You know…in a courtroom, that way accurate records could be archived. 11 duels in a single month would be impressive — no matter how big of an asshole the person might be, haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Um, you don’t drive over 65 mph, and you want to bring back sword duels? What the —

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think I know your stance…as a woman one does not draw a sword but…I like people to speak out and be clear about the meaning of their words and I, in turn, like to speak out and have often been shunted for that, especially in the UK , with the stiff upper lip and stifling politeness policy..yak…xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have a feeling you would be pretty good with a sword! Luckily sword duels are outlawed!…because we all would be dead! Haha — just kidding, well…sort of….please tell me you don’t own a sword! I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry (I’m kidding…for real).

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I shit you not; I wrote an op-ed piece along these very same lines over a decade ago, which for some strange reason (ha-ha) was rejected by the newspaper I submitted it to. It was somewhat in jest, but in all seriousness, people would think twice about civility if duelling was still an acceptable means of settling disputes. My main line of argument was that duelling would curb the death rates of innocent bystanders, i.e., in the case of drive-by shootings and so on. That probably sounds insane to most people, maybe it is, but I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts that it would work. We need to talk. (Not to a therapist.) Slamming good post.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Slamming great comment. I do not condone violence but our society is upside down. When someone acts in a disgraceful manner, the person offended is asked to be quiet. Others are embarrassed to be associated with the person mistreated. I am not into that. I like to think that society became civilised because it was made that way, through, for lack of a better term, brute force and not by brutes.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I agree — sometimes there’s not enough scrutiny placed upon someone who has committed a crime or even an atrocity — while the people who suffered the consequence are often shunned or ignored. Good point.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not surprised you’re idea was rejected…what a bunch of simpletons! In this day and age, I think someone would rather just use a gun, because it’s effective and easy to conceal. Some swords can be worn, but they would be difficult to conceal, so the duels would have to be potentially prearranged in a courtroom, or at an agreed upon destination. I don’t think most people would even show up to a duel these days, especially if their life was on the line.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Precisely. There would be so much forethought involved that people would either lose their nerve or decline in the first place. And while it does take skill to use a firearm properly, the multitude of styles of swordsmanship would mean you would never know who you were up against, or if you were a match for them. Once again, a deterrent for violence.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You forgot two potential options when confronted with a duel: shooting someone in the back or assassination — both are arguably much easier than committing yourself to a duel of any kind, especially in the modern age. Anyone who would challenge a modern day thug to formal duel would probably get a slug in their spine.

        However — the option of being invited to a modern day duel might provoke a smarter individual to think twice before instigating a fight…or cutting in line! Haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      • What you say is true. But no intelligent individual would challenge a thug to a duel. You either fight or flee. Or..you confound. I once got into a bit of a mess with a ‘modern day thug’ and I asked him, “What if you were a girl?” “Huh?” I kept asking him stupid questions like “Do dead dogs bark?” Eventually he thought I was a waste of his time and walked away. Maybe he was smarter than I thought…:)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha — it must of been the “do dead dogs bark?” question — that’s quite the threat! That’s why he walked away.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Perhaps. Wasn’t meant as a threat, just stream of semi-consciousness.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey, instead of dueling by sharp points, how about going back to good old glove slapping the face. Double slaps too. A pair of leather gloves, of course, and a big whup on the right cheek and another whup on the other cheek. If you’re really angry because it had to with your honor, let’s say, you can then have them bend over and do the other pair of cheeks. If you catch the drift . . . if you do, put a clip on your nose. Some drifts are better not to catch. If you catch that non-drift. Now, I’m rambling, but you can see where this is heading, don’t you?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Duels were often declared by ‘throwing down the gauntlet’, so if you smack a fool in the face with a leather glove, you better follow through with a piece of steel…especially if they’re bent over….if you know what I mean! Haha

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Would that be a duel to the death?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. How about a


    Liked by 2 people

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