Light The Fusion Fuse!



We live inside a very big piñata: stars…planets…rocks…dust…ice…comets…asteroids…galaxies…black holes—all of these cosmic candies are scattered here and there…

I don’t know about you…

…But I have a strong suspicion the universe is hiding more candy. Yeah. That’s right. Who knows what could be lurking beyond the infinite dark. Will it be a magnetar? A quasar? Ummm…what is that other thing…oh! A blazar!

If you smack the universe with a bat—candy falls out. Eventually. That’s the way it works.

Spark the Fusion Fuse!


There are many gaps in our knowledge of stellar physics, which probably indicates a type of undiscovered star-like object somewhere in the cosmos: firecrackers.

There’s absolutely no reason why a firecracker can’t exist. None at all.

A firecracker is too small to spark nuclear fusion, so it’s technically not a star (just like a crumb is technically not a piece of bread).



Look! A firecracker!


Brown dwarfs are star-like objects which are unable to sustain nuclear fusion—they’re relatively cool—and difficult to record. Imagine how difficult it would be to record an object the size of your hand. The meek radiation from such an itsy-bitsy thing would be undetectable by any telescope known to humanity.

The magnitude of a light source is directly impacted by its distance from the observer (inverse-square law). Go ahead and plug-in a 10 watt light bulb about 95 million miles away (152,887,680 km) and see if it’s visible from Earth

**Spoilers** You won’t see the light bulb. I think.

A glowing celestial tennis ball wouldn’t be able to emit a significant amount of infrared. Brown dwarfs are typically twice the size of Jupiter and are still difficult to observe. A firecracker would be damn near impossible to record.

Brown dwarfs can reach 800 to 1,800 degrees Fahrenheit (430 – 1,030 degrees Celsius) which is quite cool (for stellar standards) but firecrackers can be what’s known as “Fonzie Cool”: 150 to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (65 – 176 Celsius).


** What can cause a firecracker to form? **

  1. Stellar Birth

  2. Stellar Death

  3. Stellar Paroxysms

  4. Possibly none of the above

  5. …Possibly all of the above

  6. (I possibly have no idea what the hell I’m talking about)



The Pistol Star is truly pushing it to the limit, glowing with a combined power of at least 10 million suns. A star like that can barely hold on to its own plasmic guts—the above photograph is a falsecolor image of material ejected from the Pistol Star, which stretches out to 4 f#%!*$’ light years. Wait! I’m not done! The Pistol Star is believed to be 100x more massive than the sun and theoretically could of began its life at around 200x the mass of the sun.

Check out all of that lovely gas! Could a firecracker possibly form from such a cosmic commodity? Who knows.


Tiny Things Go Fizzle


When we’re talkin’ this cool and this tiny…well…who knows what else could be out there.

Earthly firecrackers are known to be unpredictable. Some go boom. Some fizzle. Some don’t do shit—the point is—not all firecrackers are treated equal. Even the hypothetical space variety.

All sorts of variables could impact the properties of a hypothetical cosmic firecracker:


  • Size

  • Density

  • Temperature

  • Gas and Dust

  • Magnetic Fields

  • Gravitational Fields

  • Everything Else



That’s it! Well…kind of. I’ll inform you when more information becomes publicly available.


Could there really be celestial firecrackers floating in outer space?


About FlyTrapMan (264 Articles)
I have no idea what I'm doing.

9 Comments on Light The Fusion Fuse!

  1. As for other candies out there, remember, Starburst and Mars and Milky Way!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I will continue my study of this post in the morning when I hope my brain is brighter!! is is 9pm now and I have to slow down for the night.. so…I am sure you will be waiting with baited breath for my sparkling comments! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • If my face turns blue from waiting…I won’t mind! Sparkling comments are very pretty!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh my friend of the night!, do not turn blue, that is truly dangerous and you may be whisked off and receive the kiss of life treatment, unless, of course that is what you are secretly dreaming off, just like I am.

        I loved your article , it almost split my brains apart, they had to work overtime with all this hot, hotter and hottest stuff, with even the hot stuff hot enough to frazzle you..and no kiss could rescue you back to blue even.

        Joking apart, the Universe is spellbindingly gripping and your tales of Brown Dwarfs , pistol stars and hypothetical cosmic firecrackers makes the whole thing even more tantalising..I wanna go there and have a look …coming? xx

        As far as your question goes..I am gravitating towards: yes, possibly,sort of.

        Liked by 1 person

      • The universe is too large not to have any strange occupants! I was going to write about a red dwarf (a type of star) but that would have inflated the post past 1000 words and most likely would have fried everyone’s brain. Red dwarf stars are very moody!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I Had seen that photo and vaguely am aware the Red Dwarf are pretty hot and amazing . Look forward to your article on the Red’s


  3. I like reading your posts… Interesting. Space is a big subject and there are so many things to search for scientist and to learn for me. Thank you, love, nia

    Liked by 1 person

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