The sky is going to drizzle biological liquor. Amphibians will fall from boiling black clouds. Locusts will eat our crops and regurgitate toxic grains—forcing all of humanity underground. Forever.
Paula Graham alerted me of this potential Earth annihilating event, so this post goes out to Paula—a fellow photographer—and writer. Better follow her blog! The world is going to Hell in a handbasket and there’s not much time left!
September’s lunar eclipse can be seen from:
- US (east coast full visibility)
- Central / South America
On September 28: the lunar eclipse can be seen from the following locations:
- Europe (before sunrise)
- South/East Asia
The lunar eclipse officially begins on September 28 (12:11 AM UTC)
…That is not all!
The moon is going to go all super-duper on us, which will cause Earth to explode. Yes! Ohhh Yes! At the time of the lunar eclipse—the moon will be at perigee: a special place in its orbit that brings it relatively close to Earth (225,804 miles / 405,504 km). The previous “super blood moon” occurred in 1982, and if you remember correctly, Earth, indeed, exploded.
The universe can not, will not, and shall not allow both to occur at the same time, so…something bad needs to happen. All the prophets say so. All the mystical books say so. And I say so. So there!
Yeah! What a bunch of maggot mash!
My crystal ball tells me nothing is going to happen. The lunar eclipse will pass by and guess what? That’s it. No megaquakes. No hellish fires. No amphibians. No locusts…which is a shame! I like locusts.
**Keep in Mind** A full moon—no matter the distance—will always appear the same size. Photographs can reveal a sight difference, but you can’t visually discern it (with you naked eye). The moon can appear rather fat IF it’s near the horizon, but that’s caused by an optical illusion, which doesn’t represent reality.
I see that look on your face! Don’t believe me? Alright. Hold on a second.
Take a look at the image below this sentence:
The two moons in the photograph are not quite full, but it still illustrates my point: the size difference is not much. You’ll never visually notice this size difference: every full moon pretty much looks the same. There. I said it. Feel free to hate me. I’m not sure on the exact distances represented in the photograph. Sorry.
The supermoon will look like any other full moon. Sorry (no, I’m not).
If blood moons are semi-bullshit, then what gives with the freakin’ red moon at the beginning of this post? I’m glad you asked! I altered the color of an existing lunar image and heavily saturated it (among other digital trickery). The image is fake and was not taken during a legit lunar eclipse.
Any full lunar eclipse can produce a red faced moon, but I wouldn’t necessarily call it a “blood moon”, considering the red hue is mainly caused by local pollution. Dust particles reflect short wavelength light (blue), but allows longer wavelengths through (red). This same effect explains why sunsets are red.
A red totality is never guaranteed! I seen plenty of regular ol’ lunar eclipses and none of them were red.
**Keep in Mind** A typical full lunar eclipse can last up to 3+ hours. Totality usually lasts more than an hour. If you plan on photographing the entire lunar eclipse: be prepared to spend a decent amount of time outside.
Well…it was nice knowing everyone! Smoke ’em if you got ’em, and I’ll see you all in the netherworld. I’ll be by the water cooler.